Just when you think the Simpsons might have gone slightly downhill…along comes episode GABF09 “The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star”.
Homer’s reaction to Bart’s expulsion from Springfield Elementary:
Homer: I can’t believe you got expelled! Well don’t expect to spend all week lying around on the couch like a bum, cause that’s my thing! We’re going to send you to another school! And if you get kicked out of that school, you going straight into the army, where you’ll be sent to America’s latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything’s possible with Commander Coo-Coo Bananas in charge!
Homer discovers confession:
Father Sean: But if you do break a rule, you can always find absolution in the sacrament of confession.
Homer: Wait, wait, wait wait wait. No matter what I did, no matter how many people lost their pensions, it’s forgiven like that?
Father Sean: If you truely repent, then, yes.
Homer: Oookay, let’s make some magic here. I wiped a booger on your shirt, I made a dog and a cat kiss, I swiped a bolted-down TV from a Holiday Inn (Cut to Homer in confessional box) I coveted the wife in Jaws 2, I lied to a waiter, I masturbated eight-million times, and I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future. (Darts out confessional door) Wahoo I’m clean! In your face Lord!
Father Sean: I understand, but can it wait till after Bingo?
Homer: Bingo, that’s my favorite game. I just can’t remember what to yell out when you win.
Father Sean: Bingo.
Homer: That’s my favorite game. I just can’t remember what to yell out when you win.
Father Sean: How bout you just say “Yaay I won!”
Marge and Homer on Catholicism:
Marge: All that sitting, and standing, and kneeling. It’s like Simon says, without a winner.
Marge: Catholics can be a peculiar bunch. No birth control, no meat on Friday.
Homer: No meat! What do they eat? Lightbulbs?
Homer: Is it true you priest guys can’t ever… you know?
Father Sean: I’ll admit the vow of celibacy is one of our sterner challenges.
Homer: Celibacy?! I was talking about the meat on Friday thing. Man you guys got more crazy rules than Blockbuster Video.