So I woke up this morning (Tuesday 19th December) thinking it was Wednesday. Chelsea even asked what day it was. Is it Tuesday, she asked? It is not, I said. It is Wednesday.

So imagine my consternation when I turn up at Chadstone to meet Kim Hammond (a 40 minute trip) and realise: I was supposed to meet him on Tuesday, not Wednesday. GASP! I check my PDA: it’s registering that today is Tuesday, and that I am indeed due to meet Kim now.

We met. It was good.

You’d think the madness, then, would stop there. But did it stop there? No, it did not stop there.

Not two hours later I was once again convinced it was Wednesday. To the extent that, while still at Chadstone Shopping Centre, I rang my brother-in-law in a panic, saying “Oh no! We were supposed to meet up for lunch today! I’m still at Chadstone, and…”

“No no, that’s tomorrow,” he said.

“But tomorrow is Thursday and I have the Urban Seed Christmas party…”

“Today is Tuesday,” he said calmly.


It was at this point that I realised that I had actually missed something I had planned to do on Tuesday: namely singing anti-sweatshop carols with Fairwear Victoria in the city. A complete mental breakdown, precipitated by my simple presence in a large shopping centre, had prevented me from doing so. How ironic.

Of course, seeing this in Borders as I waited to meet Kim didn’t help. It’s enough to make anyone disoriented:

But I suppose it’s marginally better than this, which I saw in Kmart the other day:

So, word to the wise: today is Tuesday. Tomorrow will be Wednesday. Thursday will probably follow, but I can’t be sure anymore.

2 thoughts on “discombobulated

  1. does that jesus have the gliding action, like the wheels on the bottom of his feet? the one i bought brady a few years ago did. i shouldn’t admit i bought one. but there… i did. you can’t hate me because you love jesus.

    and i’m confused. is your tuesday my wednesday or is it the other way around? because i thought today was thursday but i’m also mostly sure it’s friday. i can’t be trusted.

    and one more thing… the word i have to type in for word verification is “abhag” and i think that’s my new favorite word. let’s try it in a sentence: “david is an abhag.”

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